The Modern Downton Suzy... Christina
Where does your value lie?
The question seemed too large to ask, and yet the forever dream-pie Christina Faison read our minds and answered it! Oh, yes--it's absolutely that deep. So ladies, release your waist trainers and take a minute to enjoy our very first #DreamGirl essay on embracing your power & wholeness, and redefining the traditional #DreamLife.
So, I’m a sucker for romantic period pieces. Whether it’s watching “Pride and Prejudice” or “Downton Abbey” or reading Jane Eyre, I swoon at the idea of a noble gentleman in affectionate pursuit of his true love. However, a quick reality sets in as I walk the streets of modern day New York City dodging the cat calls and whistles (and unmentionables) from passersby, leaving me feeling less like a couture duchess from a Jane Austen novel.
In actuality, my notions of grandeur are confronted by the realities of that romanticize era. Think of it: a single woman’s entire world revolved around capturing the heart of a man, most notably, a gentleman of great wealth and stature. Her looks, her dress, the way she wore her hair, the development of her talents, and especially the dignity (and money) of her family line were all considered assets in securing her future in marriage.
As I scroll through my social media outlets, I often wonder how far we have come as single, modern women. Are we still chained to the idea that our future is bleak without the security and affirmation of a man? Will we be condemned to a life of creams, makeup tutorials, eyebrows on fleek, Zumba, waist trainers, teeth whiteners, highlights, kale, fat-free probiotic yogurt, Sephora hauls, clever satin/silk head scarves, matte lipsticks, designer bags, Botox, snips, lifts, and tucks to prove that we are desirable? God forbid! Listen, nothing’s wrong with doing or having any of those things. Who doesn’t need a pick-me-up to look and feel our best? However, the real question is this: Are we defined as being “a catch” if, and only if, we are caught?
Now, I am, by no means, a bra-burning feminist (especially if it’s a Suzy Black bra). The heart of a woman is to love and be loved. The greatest act that we can ever do is to love God by loving our significant others, children, family, friends, and fellowman. However, if a woman is found without the specific partnership of a husband, is she not, then, permitted to build? Can she not create a fine lineage? Must she wait until she is joined with another to be a woman of destiny and legacy? And must she spend a life of stagnancy and idleness filled with Match.com winks and Tinder swipes? God forbid!
Queen Elizabeth I ruled the British Empire, Queen of Sheba relentlessly pursued wisdom, and Joan of Arc waged war for her church and country. Are we not, too, destined for greatness, even if we are without the title of “Mrs.”? Of course! Now, I’m thankful I have amazingly close friends and family who understand my journey, but not everyone I know is on the same page. When the first inquiry asked is about dating, marriage, and children, one must take inventory of the constraints that society places upon the single woman. (Especially those of us who are not gay…hello!)
So yes, I am traveling the road of life without a life partner right now, but I’m certainly not hanging out until “he” comes around. Instead, I’ve decided to partner with God to detail my plans and live them. I am becoming fluent in the language of laughter and creativity. I’m learning to adorn myself for myself by myself. I fill my life with amazing relationships, so that my love-well doesn’t run dry. I have set my heart to rule, pursue, and wage war because allowing the “Top 5 Things to Do to Get His Attention” articles floating around on my Facebook feed to upstage the hot pursuit of my dreams and aspirations will not cut it for me. It’s time to widen the narrative. And I know I’m not the only one; I salute my single sisters who are out there rockin’ it. (I see you, Ava!)
So ladies, I proudly fasten my pretty bra, put on my matte lipstick, and get ready for my Queen Elizabeth reign. These are my plans of grandeur. And if my Mr. Darcy comes along, he shall find me to be a worthy woman because I have known my worth all along. Believe me, Suzies, Darcy will know.
~Christina Faison
Contributed by Christina Faison; Award Winning Writer, Director of Stage & Film, Producer, Editor, Worship Leader & Vocalist! Daughter & Sister to many... all together #DreamGirl to the MAX! Keep your eyes in the sky for this lovely one... #DreamGirl #DreamLife